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Breaking News:
One of these people is very happy. One is not. Every time a bell rings, a roundish coaster enthusiast gets his wings! Sorry to inform you that "Mister Donut" translates as "Pastry filled with feces" "What do we want? BRAINS! When do we want them? BRAINS!" "And then we sold this man a fifteen-year-old Walkman for $200 and told him it was the next-generation iPod!" Okay, really, now you're just photoshopping in the same stupid pose in front of stock photography for each park. Costumed worker at Japanese park on day TPR visits: Worst. Temp. Job. Ever.
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Hello, Japan! We will be annoying you for the next several days. This is almost like interacting with another human. More gravy, fewer noodles, please. "Hey, we're in Japan! Let's, um, bowl! That should really expose us to new cultures! "...and then let's go to Denny's!" "I wonder if I could get an on-ride video of this drum..." Why exactly would the photographer yell out "Act like utter morons, anyway? ...and dozens of Japanese commuters collapse from the smell at once Dude, that's totally Spicoli in the middle. It's so nice to be somewhere that's open to different, er, preferences What Has Happened to CoasterBuzz? Wild West World Owners Next Spending $40 Million on Roller Disco-Themed Park Hollywood Horror Nights to Feature Enormous Animatronic Goldie Hawn In Further Improvements to Son of Beast, Cedar Fair to Add Whiny Guy with Body Odor Tapping Patrons' Shoulders Repeatedly, Asking "Does This Bug You?" Hard-Hitting Journalist Rather Proud of Transitions Sunglasses, Intense Journalistic Stare Q. Why Don't Enthusiasts Get Dates? A. Here's a Start. Hundreds of Enthusiasts Simultaneously Discover Working in Amusement Park Sucks, Fellow Employees Hate Them Six Flags Right In Touch With Hot Trends Intamin Admits Maverick Designed by Ron Toomer with Bendy Wire Hangers; Says, "Computers are Expensive!" Enthusiasts Practice Saying "Mas Tapas" Repeatedly Gravy Futures Way, Way Up Carowinds Employees Assimilated
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Saturday, February 23, 2008
Tidbits From All Over Late February means that it’s still the off-season for most parks. But until the usual tales of ridiculous enthusiast public behavior and Six Flags jacking up parking fees three times in one day begin to rear their ugly heads, we here at ARN&R still have some exciting news to report. -Work still continues at Universal Studios Orlando on the Simpsons Ride, which will replace the park’s beloved Back To The Future Ride. A source which declined to be named tells ARN&R that the ride is still on target for a Spring opening, and will mirror the popular Fox animated show closely. He went on to say that the ride will be underwhelming the first three times guests ride it, will become wildly entertaining for rides 4 through 10, and then begin a slow but steady decline in amusement during subsequent experiences. -Idaho’s Silverwood Theme Park continues to gear up for what park owner Gary Norton calls “the most exciting season in our history”. In addition to the well-publicized news that Silverwood has purchased Six Flags Great America’s Vekoma lawn ornament Deja Vu, the park plans to open a new food court in its Boulder Beach waterpark, and move forward with a botanical beautification project. Sliverwood has also been aggressively recruiting new employees through newspaper ads, internet postings, and job fairs, and has added nearly five hundred new hires. Norton denies the rumor that most of these new employees will be used to manually lift Deja Vu trains “tug of war” style up the lift towers during the coaster’s many mechanical failures. --CMV Posted at 4:48 PM | Link | 1 comment(s)
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