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One of these people is very happy. One is not. Every time a bell rings, a roundish coaster enthusiast gets his wings! Sorry to inform you that "Mister Donut" translates as "Pastry filled with feces" "What do we want? BRAINS! When do we want them? BRAINS!" "And then we sold this man a fifteen-year-old Walkman for $200 and told him it was the next-generation iPod!" Okay, really, now you're just photoshopping in the same stupid pose in front of stock photography for each park. Costumed worker at Japanese park on day TPR visits: Worst. Temp. Job. Ever.
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Hello, Japan! We will be annoying you for the next several days. This is almost like interacting with another human. More gravy, fewer noodles, please. "Hey, we're in Japan! Let's, um, bowl! That should really expose us to new cultures! "...and then let's go to Denny's!" "I wonder if I could get an on-ride video of this drum..." Why exactly would the photographer yell out "Act like utter morons, anyway? ...and dozens of Japanese commuters collapse from the smell at once Dude, that's totally Spicoli in the middle. It's so nice to be somewhere that's open to different, er, preferences What Has Happened to CoasterBuzz? Wild West World Owners Next Spending $40 Million on Roller Disco-Themed Park Hollywood Horror Nights to Feature Enormous Animatronic Goldie Hawn In Further Improvements to Son of Beast, Cedar Fair to Add Whiny Guy with Body Odor Tapping Patrons' Shoulders Repeatedly, Asking "Does This Bug You?" Hard-Hitting Journalist Rather Proud of Transitions Sunglasses, Intense Journalistic Stare Q. Why Don't Enthusiasts Get Dates? A. Here's a Start. Hundreds of Enthusiasts Simultaneously Discover Working in Amusement Park Sucks, Fellow Employees Hate Them Six Flags Right In Touch With Hot Trends Intamin Admits Maverick Designed by Ron Toomer with Bendy Wire Hangers; Says, "Computers are Expensive!" Enthusiasts Practice Saying "Mas Tapas" Repeatedly Gravy Futures Way, Way Up Carowinds Employees Assimilated
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Friday, December 21, 2007
In a Battle of Idiots, We All Win Yes, we're a little obsessed with JL57 and the Show Statecase Funpark Royal Republic of Kazakhstan. When Jack is away, we're sad; when he quotes us as a source, we love it. And we are amazed at how persistently he engages all comers, continually responding to everyone. Until now. Yes, indeed, Jack has apparently met his match in a borderline illiterate drugstore employee from Minnesota, one Colleen. Go and enjoy this thread, in which Jack claims, just a tad implausibly, that Dayton, Ohio, has 17,000 hotels. The barely coherent Colleen points out the obvious -- that all he's doing is citing to Google's search results, but even that the search results in fact only have 40 or so results. Jack then flips out, starting to delete all of her messages, ranting about complaining to Google. We didn't see all of her messages that got deleted, but they included links to some government page that showed that there are only about 60,000 hotels in the entire country (odds that over a quarter of them are in Dayton, Ohio? Anyone?). She keeps writing 'em, he keeps deleting 'em. Good times. It's not every day you get to see someone this delusional flip out. Enjoy! It's our Christmas present to you. --GP Posted at 10:49 AM | Link | 6 comment(s)
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