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Wednesday, October 13, 2004
ARN&R Writers Too Busy Having Actual Lives to Report on Everything
Recently, a mentally deranged coaster enthusiast accused ARN&R of failing to report on a number of topics of interest to him:
These guys claim to be reliable but can't even pick up on recent park news.
Who are we to believe anymore?
PKI Flyer Removal and the campaign to save it.
These guys suck, Boycott them.
Naturally, we take this kind of criticism very, very, very seriously. Of course, we apologize that paying attention to world events, maintaining healthy relationships with our families and friends, engaging in romantic activities with other people instead of our fists, and having jobs doesn't always enable us to keep on top of pressing and extremely important events in the world of amusement parks in our spare time.
However, we might as well address the specific topics Coasterfanatic claims we haven't reported on, as his tragic Flyer-less future has apparently made him even more delusional than usual.
PKI Flyer Removal and Useless Campaign to Save It: Check out the current headlines. You've been insulted already.
HW Additions: Um. Here it is.
PPP: Um. Right here.
Xanadu: Well, it's true that we haven't mentioned the stupid thing that will never actually be built in the Meadowlands. But one cannot dispute that we did extensively discuss Xanadu recently.
IAAPA: It's in November, at least the last time we checked.
Tsunami: Ooooh. We missed it. Call Mayor McCheese. Tsunami was amazingly rough and gave us a big headache. Sorry we didn't get around to reporting that scrumptious and amusing tidbit!
Coasterfanatic failed to mention that we also haven't been writing much lately about freakish enthusiasts falling into the PKI reflecting pool while fighting over who snaps their flyers better, but rest assured we'll get on it right away, too.
By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.
Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."
Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.
Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.
We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.