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Monday, October 11, 2004
We've received dozens of irate letters from people upset that our extensive and exclusive coverage of the Six Flags Great Adventure Fright Fest neglected to even so much as mention one of the main attractions. Circus Psycho, where the "Boardwalk section will be filled with carnival chaos, psycho freaks and demented clowns lurking around every corner," was not discussed in the article due to the fact that the situation described above is absolutely no different from what is seen in SFGRAD's Boardwalk section on any normal operating day. It was our intention to describe new attractions opened specifically for Fright Fest, not shill for a cheap renaming done in a blatant attempt to capitalize on the freakish and horrifying appearance of the park's clientele. Nevertheless, we apologize for the confusion this omission caused.
By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.
Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."
Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.
Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.
We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.