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Tuesday, May 25, 2004
CPO (formerly CPC) Head Abandons Coasters, Embraces Stalking Lee Coaster, known far and wide for his enormously successful Coaster Preservation Organization ("formly" Club), which relocated dozens of abandoned coasters to two wildly successful parks in Indiana and North Carolina, announced today that he has handed over the reins of the CPO to one of his dozens of followers and will now be taking up stalking as a hobby. "Through my new feature The View, I can indulge my voyeuristic tendencies while telling myself it's all in the name of journalism!" said Coaster (formerly known as Thunder Pussy) in an exclusive ARN&R interview. "No, I've never met the young women I take pictures of and post on the web...actually, I've never met any young women. But I'm certain that taking pictures of them without permission and posting them on my site is just the thing to meet them!" At press time, the subjects of Coaster's photographs commented, "Eeewwwww." And for that, young Coaster, you get to be our Site O' The Weak! Posted at 9:39 AM | Link | 0 comment(s)
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By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.
Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."
Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.
Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.
We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.
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