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Friday, March 05, 2004
RCT3 to Feature New Six Flags Simulation ARN&R has received an alpha copy of the new three-dimensional Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 and can exclusively reveal some of the features of the updated game. Most notable is the expanded branding with Six Flags. In addition to coming with rides from actual Six Flags parks, several scenarios will give players the experience of managing a park in the chain. For example, the Six Flags New England scenario will allow for exactly one great ride but no more and players will randomly experience millions of gallons of raw sewage being rained upon the park. Bonus points will be given for each park employee that vomits on a guest. Similarly, the Six Flags Astroworld scenario will permit the installation of rides only after they have been installed and run into the ground in other Six Flags scenarios. Finally, the Six Flags Magic Mountain scenario will provide for enormous and ride-filled parks but permit the hiring of exactly eighteen people to operate the entire park, ten of whom are drunk. Though not yet in the alpha version, game developer Chris Sawyer is reportedly considering identifying a miniscule proportion of parks' virtual guests as enthusiasts. These guests will demand constant attention from the player, insisting that the parks add millions of dollars of new rides, while spending virtually no money in the park, instead relying on season passes and the storage of coolers filled with cold fried chicken in their cars. Sawyer's only hesitation is showing the enthusiasts in the improved and three-dimensional graphics, fearing that doing so could endanger the game's family-friendly ratings. Posted at 11:25 AM | Link | 0 comment(s)
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By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.
Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."
Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.
Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.
We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.
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