Still here. But mostly in 140 characters.
- - -

Sunday, March 21, 2004
 
ACE Courts Young Members With New Website

The American Coaster Enthusiasts unveiled a new version of their website this morning, one designed to attract the all-important young coaster enthusiasts of tommorrow to the organization.

"This new version of the official ACE website will draw in eager young blood by creating a fun 'ACE Camp' atmosphere in which the kids can learn and play," said ACE President, High Munificent Matriarch, and Supreme Master of the Wildebeest Lash Carole Sanderson. "We've also noticed that most of our regular adult members prefer the new child-friendly website, claiming that it uses fewer big words and is very easy to understand. Some say it's pretty addictive!"

"With more exciting, intelligent, and dazzlingly colored sections of the ACE website opening up daily, including Big Bad Boys, The Aliens, and Birthday Cake, we believe we have a website that will draw in new members by the billions," added Sanderson. "And these eerily similar mantras posted on each page of the site are not at all creepy!"

Sanderson then suddenly and inexplicably adopted a glazed-over zombie expression before droning out the following in a deep, resonant robot voice:

We learned many things like take apart.
Our favorite part of ACE Camp is Take-Apart.
Take-Apart is our favorite because you get to take things apart.
Kids shoud come to ACE Camp because they would have fun.
Parents should let their kids come to ACE Camp because they would learn a lot of new things.


ARN&R will update further as more information about the new ACE website becomes available.

--JCK

Posted at 7:54 PM | Link | 0 comment(s)

0 Comment(s):

Post a Comment

- - -



Google
Web absolutelyreliable.com   

[Powered by Blogger]


Copyright 2002-2009 Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.

Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."

Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.

Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.

We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.