On Twitter Current Archive Contact Us Boycott Us Stalk Us Give Us Money Atom Feed All information guaranteed absolutely accurate or your money back.

Still here. But mostly in 140 characters. - - - Wednesday, November 12, 2003   Breaking News: Paris Hilton Crotch Search Results Update We are pleased to report that we have now broken the 500 mark in the count of people who have visited the site searching for "Paris Hilton crotch" or some variant. Thanks, those with exceedingly questionable taste! If only we had advertising, we'd be thrilled to be having the visits! Posted at 3:46 PM | Link | 0 comment(s) 0 Comment(s): Post a Comment - - - HOME Web absolutelyreliable.com

Copyright 2002-2009 Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.

Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."

Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.

Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.

We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.