Still here. But mostly in 140 characters.
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Wednesday, August 20, 2003
 
Celebrate 350 Years of ARN&R by Giving Us Money

Why, it just seems like eleven months ago that we started this fine journal of amusement park news and rumors. And yet here we are, 350 years later, still going strong with tens and tens of readers.

How can you help celebrate, you ask? Why, by buying crap! In particular, you can buy a special 350th anniversary shirt, featuring headlines from those centuries! See what ACErs had to say about the earliest Russian ice slides and Paul Ruben's reaction to the very first Boomerang!

Also, it looks like we'll be out in force at Knoebel's fall event (which we refuse to name because of the constant and annoying use of "ph" in all materials...though we admit to some amusement at being directed not to have costumes that are too "phat"). Drop us a line if you too want to be part of the 350th Annual AbsolutelyReliableCon. There will be gravy.*




* if demand exists. Frankly, beer is more likely.

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Copyright 2002-2009 Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.

Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."

Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.

Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.

We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.