- - -
Friday, June 27, 2003
Breaking News: Possible Full-Season Shutdown of TTD "Still Totally Normal!"
In response to Cedar Fair's announcement that Top Thrill Dragster may ultimately be closed for the season, experts throughout the teenage internet coaster enthusiast community continued to declare it "totally normal," as was the breaking of the cable, supports, track, train, train accoutrements, and the station.
"Tell me one ride that, a month after its opening, doesn't have the CEO talking about closing it down for the rest of the season!" exclaimed oft-quoted MeanStrkRulz. "And I'm far from a fanboy! Why, I bet it was part of the park's plans from the start! Just tease people with the ride and then get them to discover great coasters like Mean Streak and Mantis!"
RaptorRulesMySky concurred. "It's only another three or four months in the season, so I don't know why people are getting upset."
By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.
Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."
Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.
Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.
We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.