Still here. But mostly in 140 characters.
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Wednesday, April 02, 2003
 
ARN&R Fails To Win Coasterbuzz Site of Year Award

Coasterbuzz recently posted its list of 2003 awards, and ARN&R is deeply disturbed and concerned that our site did not win. Actually, we barely managed to finish out of last place, despite the fact that we helpfully provided instructions on how to vote multiple times by emptying your cache and cookies. We are therefore unable to follow up on our promise that, if we were victorious, we would never insult or mock any idiots (like Xfan) who post at Coasterbuzz, nor will we be switching our format to consist entirely of fawning portraits of Vekoma, Premier, Six Flags, and the most succulent amusement park foods on sticks. We regret that we must continue savagely mocking enthusiasts and parks for the foreseeable future. You have only yourselves to blame.

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Copyright 2002-2009 Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.

Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."

Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.

Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.

We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.