Idiots Actually Think ARN&R Is Real

ARN&R was distressed today to learn that there still exist people who think the website has real amusement industry news. These people, labeled by experts as �babbling simpletons,� frequently send email to the site and post to message boards the opinion that the information on ARN&R is incorrect or misleading.

�The people running that site are idiots,� said one intellectual star, known to ThemeParkCritic and Coasterbuzz as SitNSpin, who has miraculously noted the lack of accuracy in ARN&R reports. �Usually their rumors are totally wrong. All they do is spread misleading things about parks and print the dumbest rumors. Like that article about new policies at Six Flags parks was so bull. My brother works at a Six Flags, so I know that�s totally not true. They also are stupid because they said Busch Gardens had the Applause Award taken from them and that Six Flags Astroworld is getting a second Vekoma SLC. Where do they hear this stupid crap? No one should believe any stuff they say.�

Even more moronic, according to experts, is MrBigEagle, who reached new realms of drooling stupidity by not only taking ARN&R reports seriously, but also actually going a step further and, incredibly enough, believing them. �Those hippie liberals at Amnesty International have gone too far this time, trying to protest Six Flags rides. Why don�t they get a life? But it�s good to see that my favorite theme park chain is still growing. That�s great that they made South Dakota into Six Flags Upper Midwest. I�ll be in line on opening day to show my support.� MrBigEagle then unexpectedly flew into a rage, snarling that �the Supreme Court decision on Superman:The Escape not being a coaster is such crud. Everyone I know thinks it�s a coaster. Those old farts wouldn�t know a coaster if it bit them in the ass.�

Some ARN&R detractors have even speculated that the site is wasting valuable online space that can never be recovered by mankind. States Rhodes Scholar Roarbaby, �Why anyone would want to run a site like that is beyond me, personally if you ask me it's a waste of webspace that could've been used to create a more informative & accurate site involving the amusement park industry.�

�This level of stupidity amazes me,� states leading New York brain surgeon Casper Goodspeed. �In our profession, we have a complicated medical term to adequately describe persons of such mental skill: �stupid f%&#s.��

When last seen by reporters, MrBigEagle was busily rummaging through a used bookshop in search of an elusive copy of Maxim�s January �Babes of the Amusement Industry� issue.

--JCK

Posted at 8:41 PM | Link | 0 comment(s)

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