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Wednesday, September 11, 2002
Area Student, Hopeful to Become Coaster Engineer, Fails to Make Correct Change
Jon Yurtz, an area high school junior with aspirations of becoming an engineer designing roller coasters, failed to make correct change for a customer for the fifth time in a week, reported his supervisor at the 7-11. "For some reason, Jon just can't remember that when he's given a dollar for the paper -- which costs thirty-five cents -- the correct change is sixty-five cents. He just keeps giving back three quarters."
In the past several weeks, Yurtz has also built a deck for his grandmother that collapsed within a few days, defined friction as "a story that's not true" on a physics exam, and called Microsoft's customer support line when he could not turn off italics in Word.
Yurtz says he expects to major in physics and then go to "M.I.T. or one of those places" for a doctorate in "making kick-ass coasters."
By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.
Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."
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We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.