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Friday, September 13, 2002
Another Beautiful Afternoon Wasted Reading Rumor Sites
James Bardi, a coaster enthusiast in suburban Washington, D.C., wasted another beautiful afternoon constantly surfing through the dozen coaster rumor sites he checks obsessively. "Someone's gotta have new pictures of the vertical construction at Cedar Point!" Bardi muttered on his seventeenth visit to CoasterBuzz. During the four hours he spent in his windowless office, the average temperature outside was 79, the sun was shining, and a light breeze was blowing.
Bardi has previously ruined Thanksgiving with his family when looking for news about Six Flags Magic Mountain's progress on "X," and caused the breakup of a promising relationship when he interrupted a Valentine's Day dinner to check his e-mail four times on his Palm VII, hoping for an update on a rumored new coaster at Paramount's Kings Dominion, Bardi's home park.
By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.
Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."
Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.
Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.
We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.