Leading Prick Website Calls For Boycott of Leading Hair Loss Website for Calling for Boycott of Theme Park

Miami, FL July 28, 2009 -- PrickCentralBook.com, the leading social network website dedicated to making strong and lasting connections among utter pricks, is calling for officials at HairLoss.com, to cease advocating a boycott of Freestyle Park or face a boycott from its tens of thousands of prick participants.

A few days ago, HairLoss.com announced its intention to call for a boycott of the Myrtle Beach theme park after one of its ads depicted a rider losing his toupee on the Time Machine roller coaster. "The officials at Freestyle Music Park should be ashamed and embarrassed for not only promoting this cheap, low-level and insulting ad, but then by defending it as 'fun'," said Michael Garcia, spokesman for HairLoss.com in its press release.

In response, PrickCentralBook.com's spokeswoman Janet Fleming-Reynolds, herself a total prick, said that HairLoss.com "should be ashamed and embarrassed for promoting a view of pricks that is even worse than we deserve." Fleming-Reynolds continued: "Upwards of 40% of our male prick members are bald or balding, and, being total pricks, most of them use a toupee -- oh, sorry, a 'hair system.' But not even they are sufficiently prickish to think that this ad is offensive. Yes, we know lots of people lose their hair due to cancer treatment and the like, and of course, no, we're not enough of pricks to make fun of them. But that's not what the park was doing."

Other similar sites, including MyAsshatBook.com and DickWeedSpace.com, are considering similar actions, according to reports.

--GP

Posted at 11:58 AM | Link | 2 comment(s)

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Thursday, March 05, 2009

 

Writing Our Acceptance Speech Already...

Looking forward to winning this award. Thanks in advance to our tens and tens of fans for nominating us repeatedly.

--GP

Posted at 11:04 AM | Link | 1 comment(s)

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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

 

Our Question Is...

When will Flying Turns open?

We demand precision!

Posted at 6:47 PM | Link | 1 comment(s)

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

 

Are You Ready?



That's how long until the next Theme Park Review Friday update at RRC if it appears as the same time as last week.

Update: OHMIGODOHMIGOD THEY POSTED EARLY!!!@!!!@! CHECK IT OUT PEEEPS!!!!!!!!1 And...go!

Get yer typing fingers ready! Get yer insane asshattery prepared!

--GP

Posted at 10:49 PM | Link | 1 comment(s)

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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

 

NYC: "Yes, We Would Like Coney Island to Look Just Like Your Mall."

In a surprising announcement, the New York City government acknowledged today that it does, in fact, want Coney Island ultimately to look like your regional mall. "In particular, we are seeking to emulate that classic and intensely missed mall, the Northland Shopping Center of Jennings, Missouri. But with new and similarly generic stores."

The press release continued: "Why have local and eclectic amusements, and historical buildings? Why have the original Nathan's? The answer is: No reason, when you can have a Gap, FYE, Abercrombie & Fitch, and, most critically, a One Potato Two and a Mrs. Fields Cookies."

Construction on the expected thirteen Starbucks will start immediately. Additionally, the press release notes that all current Coney Island residents will be replaced by white people from South Dakota.

--GP

Posted at 10:08 AM | Link | 1 comment(s)

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Royalty Comes Out in Full Force for Inauguration

What's that? All those drama queens are actually just responding to a TPR thread?

Huh.

--GP

Posted at 9:32 AM | Link | 1 comment(s)

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

 

Fight! Fight! Fight!

It's a fight!

An incredibly lame, petty, pointless fight, one in which you just hope everyone beats the crap out of everyone else, but a fight!

Whoo!

--GP

P.S. to people who bring kids into a fight: you're idiots.

Posted at 9:34 AM | Link | 4 comment(s)

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Monday, December 22, 2008

 

Six Flags Again Does Our Job For Us

Really, Six Flags? You have so much extra money around that you think it makes sense to start a...wait a minute, we can't be reading this right. It's gotta be a typo. Just a second, let us go check on this.

[Sounds of rummaging through papers...]

Really? That's what it is?

A hair cutting store chain? Themed after a floundering amusement park chain?

WTF?

--GP

Posted at 12:28 PM | Link | 1 comment(s)

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Friday, October 24, 2008

 

Least Surprising News Ever

NoGodForYouNorWillThereBeUniversalThemeParksForYou.

--GP

Posted at 9:30 AM | Link | 1 comment(s)

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